Name: Kevin Silber

Background: Lives in legend after single-handedly destroying his high school graduation ceremony

Hero: The Hamburger Helper hand

Age: 22

Likes: chow, cookery, cuisine, eats, entrées, fast food, feed, foodstuffs, goodies, grit, groceries, grub, home cooking, nourishment, nutrition, slop, snack, sustenance, take out

Dislikes: Not eating ice cream

Favorite Food: Anything that tastes like chicken

Quote: “Warrior needs food badly”

Relevant Skills: Eating copious amounts of… anything

Irrelevant Skills: Punching black holes

Favorite animal: slow loris

Name: Brian Silber

Background: Co-founder of Crowhorn Productions and life long enthusiast of brown-baggin'

Hero: Sonic the Hedgehog

Age: 24

Likes: Disliking things

Dislikes: Liking things

Favorite Food: Soup stew

Quote: "Leave em’ alone you hog!"

Relevant Skills: Production, camera work, and editing

Irrelevant Skills: Growing blond mustaches

Favorite animal: slow loris

Name: Jim Dietter

Background: Co-founder of Crowhorn Productions and Hollywood Squares' biggest fan… Whoopie for the block

Hro: MLK Jr

Age: 23

Likes: Basketball, photography, and 'Sister Act 2'

Dislikes: Heidi

Favorite Food: Matzah ball soup

Quote: “We don’t buy no drinks at tha bah’”

Relevant skills: Production, camera work, and wditing

Irrelevant skills: Post reconstruction era constitutional law

Favorite animal: slow loris

Name: Dave Crane

Background: Struggled amongst obscurity, and is now continuing to struggle amongst obscurity

Hero: Ben Affleck in 'Armageddon'

Age: 31

Likes: Taylor Swift anime

Dislikes: When Kevin and Gordon don’t replace the fire alarm battery for 6 months

Favorite Food: Pepperoni logs

Favorite Quote: "Yo, wanna get yr rocks off? Just put a little love in my glove box!"

Relevant Skills: Internetting

Irrelevant Skills: Shooting laserguns and eating candy bars

Favorite Animal: Slow Loris

Name: Gordon Johnson

Background: Almost as good as the drummer from Def Leopard

Hero: Macaulay Culkin

Age: 23

Likes: Spooners

Dislikes: Fun; opening his mouth

Favorite Food: Cereal

Quote: “Pills are Goooooooood"

Relevant Skills: Doodling dragons and other nonsense

Irrelevant Skills: picking up dudes off of match.com

Favorite Animal: Slow Loris

Name: Justin Craparo

Background: Trained by Michael Jordan and the Toon Squad, he now performs with Titanium Octopus, playing hits like “Underwater Amistad", "Nine Ton Claw", and "March of the Mollusks” for fans worldwide

Hero: M.J.

Likes: Big Arms, and zaftig women

Dislikes: Small Snapping Turtles

Favorite Food: Undercooked Meat

Quote: “Give that chick some more cake and I’ll do her!”

Relevant Skills: Cook’n up burgers and wieners

Irrelevant Skills: Zoom Master

Favorite Animal: Slow Loris